We humans are interesting creatures. Artists take intersting to a whole new level. And while we usually have an abundance of creativity, looks, talent, great singing voices, etc., we also share all the everyday, common human flaws that can be found in just about anyone.
Here’s a little ditty… about Jack and Diane. What a great song. What’s the message of the Jack & Diane story? I think it goes way deeper than just small town football stars and their girlfriends. Scratch and dig deeper; it’s a multi-layer lyric. It’s also a story about self-made obstacles. We’ve all seen these mini series play out in our hometowns. Take a snapshot in time and someone owns the world; then fast forward two years later and they’re not even on the radar. The usual culprit is an abrupt change of direction. Enter drama.
I’ve seen the routine over and over. The promising star or starlet gets the industry machinery going, camps get set up, big plans get made, label deals get inked and lots of money gets spent. And then, out of nowhere, the next big thing pulls the plug. Sometimes they don’t even know they’ve pulled it and it’s over. Doesn’t matter though. The end result is the same.
I have a lifelong relationship with a very talented guitarist friend. She’s not only a brilliant player, but an excellent singer/songwriter as well. I’ve watched her systematically destruct label deals and almost everything good in her life for over two decades now. I’ve been in many bands with this talented woman. They all implode in short order. Once the perfect combination of excellent players is found, we’ll have a brief moment where everything’s coming up roses. Then, like clockwork, she’ll begin to have huge mood swings, her personal life will begin to fall apart, she’ll get short and disrespectful with her band members, and then one-by-one, the supporting talent bails. Ultimately, the labels and the agents get nervous and her phone stops ringing. She will then go through a period of depression, usually a couple years. She might even move hundreds of miles away. Then, one day, like the sunrise, she reappears and the cycle begins a new. Unfortunately for her, she’s now in a position where her looks are slipping, she’s tired and too old to really set the world on fire. This routine has been going on since she was a kid.
What’s the deal? Is this chance? I don’t think so. Maybe once or twice might make it chance. This is a simple case of destructive behavior (the symptom) coupled with insecurity (the real problem). Yeah. I bet if we could get a little sodium pentathol in her (the truth drug) we’d get to the bottom of things. I honestly think she’s scared of success. She’s scared of competing. Real competition seems to be the great leveler. I don’t care how big you are in your small town, things will be different out in the real world. You won’t be the one and only and the focus of everybody’s attention on the world’s stage. All your little insecurities are going to come back to haunt you if you’re lucky enough to make it that far.
There’s always something about ourselves that we don’t particularly like. It might be our nose, our vibrato, bingo arms (that flappy part of the upper arm skin that is all too noticeable when someone stands up and yells BINGO!) or our butts or even the sound of our own voice. Whatever it is, it becomes the focus, our obsession, and given the right set of circumstances (the prospect of real fame), these obsessions can become overpowering. We develop temporary OCD and focus on things that don’t matter while ignoring all of our positive attributes. Then when it’s all too much to handle, we’ll set fire to our careers so we’ll have a good story down the road as to how and why we’re a victim of circumstance. Oh the drama.
Victim? Yeah…we’re the victims of our own self-made dramatic circumstance all right. Cathy Lemmon recently pinged her email list letting everybody know that we have a reality show in the works at Artist Development Network. She asked for real-life stories from people. And you wouldn’t believe how many amazing stories we’ve received or the depths of despair people have plunged into. This is all good stuff for reality television, and we can use these stories! But let me assure you… you’ll need to get past all of it if you really want to do something with your own musical career.
No drama boys & girls. That’s got to be the rule when it comes to the stage. The old saying the show must go on is the main rule the pros live by. Drama might keep people glued to a reality show, but when it comes time to perform on stage there had better be no excuses. And believe me, as the ringleader of your own career, you’ll need to have emotional headroom and compassion to help those in your crew through their own nightmares. Disasters happen. You have to be available to help key band members and personnel through difficult times. Straight up: the last person that can afford the luxury of chronic self-made drama is the star of the show.
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